When the Sisters of Misery, a secret clique of the most popular, powerful girls in school, unleash their wrath on her beautiful cousin Cordelia, Maddie Crane must choose between Cordelia and the allure of this elite club.
From the Laws of Mount Misery: There are no laws in psychiatry. Now, from the author of the riotous, moving, bestselling classic, The House of God, comes a lacerating and brilliant novel of doctors and patients in a psychiatric hospital. Mount Misery is a prestigious facility set in the rolling green hills of New England, its country club atmosphere maintained by generous corporate contributions. Dr. Roy Basch (hero of The House of God) is lucky enough to train there *only to discover doctors caught up in the circus of competing psychiatric theories, and patients who are often there for one main reason: they've got good insurance. From the Laws of Mount Misery: Your colleagues will hurt you more than your patients. On rounds at Mount Misery, it's not always easy for Basch to tell the patients from the doctors: Errol Cabot, the drug cowboy whose practice provides him with guinea pigs for his imaginative prescription cocktails . . . Blair Heiler, the world expert on borderlines (a diagnosis that applies to just about everybody) . . . A. K. Lowell, née Aliyah K. Lowenschteiner, whose Freudian analytic technique is so razor sharp it prohibits her from actually speaking to patients . . . And Schlomo Dove, the loony, outlandish shrink accused of having sex with a beautiful, well-to-do female patient. From the Laws of Mount Misery: Psychiatrists specialize in their defects. For Basch the practice of psychiatry soon becomes a nightmare in which psychiatrists compete with one another to find the best ways to reduce human beings to blubbering drug-addled pods, or incite them to an extreme where excessive rage is the only rational response, or tie them up in Freudian knots. And all the while, the doctors seem less interested in their patients' mental health than in a host of other things *managed care insurance money, drug company research grants and kickbacks, and their own professional advancement. From the Laws of Mount Misery: In psychiatry, first comes treatment, then comes diagnosis. What The House of God did for doctoring the body, Mount Misery does for doctoring the mind. A practicing psychiatrist, Samuel Shem brings vivid authenticity and extraordinary storytelling gifts to this long-awaited sequel, to create a novel that is laugh-out-loud hilarious, terrifying, and provocative. Filled with biting irony and a wonderful sense of the absurd, Mount Misery tells you everything you'll never learn in therapy. And it's a hell of a lot funnier. From the Hardcover edition.
Once I started, I couldn't stop. It felt like falling down the stairs.... Meet David Gould: abandoned by his girlfriend, pushing the deadline for his first book, tormented by writer's block, and obsessed with the impossibly sexy, overwhelmingly alive diaries young people keep online. Outside it's a beautiful, Brooklyn summer. But inside his apartment David is sleeping in, screening calls, draining beer after beer, and dreaming of Miss Misery -- aka twenty-two-year-old provocateur Cath Kennedy -- a total stranger with impeccable music taste and an enviable nightlife. Now meet David Gould online. Here, in his fictional diary, he's a downtown DJ and an inveterate night owl, drinking and charming countless girls until the sun comes up. But when Miss Misery moves to New York City and begins canoodling with an insufferable hipster, David's diary mysteriously begins updating itself. The reason? David Gould has a doppelgänger, an obnoxious shadow set on claiming David's newly glamorous life as his own. Even worse for David, the phone calls from his editor are becoming increasingly desperate, and the voice mails from his girlfriend -- an ocean away -- are becoming more and more distant. And then there are all of the instant messages from seventeen-year-old Ashleigh Bortch, an emo kid in Salt Lake City with an inappropriate crush on David and a knack for showing up at precisely the wrong time. Forced out of his apartment, David Gould is facing the fight of his life. With humor, heart, and a vibrant, genre-jumping soundtrack, Andy Greenwald captures the essence of what it means to be young and struggling with identity in the new century. From cyberspace to nightclub bathrooms, from New York City to Utah, Miss Misery is a fast-paced, funny story about the timeless need to become the main character in your own life.
Catastrophe and Colonial Settlement in Early America
Author: Kathleen Donegan
Publisher: University of Pennsylvania Press
The stories we tell of American beginnings typically emphasize colonial triumph in the face of adversity. But the early years of English settlement in America were characterized by catastrophe: starvation, disease, extreme violence, ruinous ignorance, and serial abandonment. Seasons of Misery offers a provocative reexamination of the British colonies' chaotic and profoundly unstable beginnings, placing crisis—both experiential and existential—at the center of the story. At the outposts of a fledgling empire and disconnected from the social order of their home society, English settlers were both physically and psychologically estranged from their European identities. They could not control, or often even survive, the world they had intended to possess. According to Kathleen Donegan, it was in this cauldron of uncertainty that colonial identity was formed. Studying the English settlements at Roanoke, Jamestown, Plymouth, and Barbados, Donegan argues that catastrophe marked the threshold between an old European identity and a new colonial identity, a state of instability in which only fragments of Englishness could survive amid the upheavals of the New World. This constant state of crisis also produced the first distinctively colonial literature as settlers attempted to process events that they could neither fully absorb nor understand. Bringing a critical eye to settlers' first-person accounts, Donegan applies a unique combination of narrative history and literary analysis to trace how settlers used a language of catastrophe to describe unprecedented circumstances, witness unrecognizable selves, and report unaccountable events. Seasons of Misery addresses both the stories that colonists told about themselves and the stories that we have constructed in hindsight about them. In doing so, it offers a new account of the meaning of settlement history and the creation of colonial identity.
Oprah Winfrey is an unprecedented and important cultural phenomenon. This book aims to understand the reasons for her spectacular success and visibility. Based on nearly one hundred show transcripts; a year and a half of watching the show regularly; and analysis of magazine articles, several biographies, O Magazine, Oprah Book Club novels, self-help manuals promoted on the show, and hundreds of messages on the Oprah Winfrey Web site, it takes the Oprah industry seriously in order to ask fundamental questions about how culture works today.
Terror is evolving—as a new, unknown species of carnivorous marine life lays waste to an idyllic New York coastal town. Marine biologist Katie DiNardo and ichthyologist Nick Tanner know about Mount Misery. For decades, out of this stretch of land on Long Island Sound, has grown the stuff of nightmares, legends, and grim folk tales. It’s all been speculation and rumor, corruptions of the imagination—until now. Something has arrived in the neighborhood, and this time the locals have actual evidence of something nasty. One by one they’re being terrorized. And one by one, they’re being by killed by creatures with a taste for human flesh. Kate and Nick have seen what this mysterious species is capable of. But to study it, to learn of its origins, and to determine how to stop it, they’ll have go beneath the surface of the brackish coastal waters. What they find in the dark depths is beyond anything they feared or imagined—and even they may be helpless against the mounting and insatiable horror.
This book offers solutions to anyone who has felt victimized, ostracized or left behind by life. Surprising as it may sound, many people take comfort in their own misery. Feeling too good for too long (or even feeling good at all) can be scary for people, explains Anne Katherine. "Achievement creates anxiety. Intimacy leads to fear. Happiness produces uneasiness. Pleasure causes pain. The solution to this dilemma: what feels good has to be stopped. I call this an addiction to misery." Katherine's fascination and perspective book provides immediate assistance to those people who think they might be making choices that keep them at a "carefully calibrated level of existence--beneath bliss and above despair."
Poor Old Misery. She and her old cat, Rutterkin, ain't got two pennies to rub together. And the one thing of value she does have - a tree, filled with good eating apples - is regularly ransacked by humans and animals of all kinds! So, one day, when a surprise visitor grants her a wish, Old Misery wishes that anyone who tries to steal her apples will end up stuck to the tree! At first, it seems like her wish was a terrific idea, but then Old Misery decides to use her new power on another surprise visitor. And she learns what may be the most miserable lesson of all: be careful what you wish for!
As seen on Disney XD, a hilarious graphic novel perfect for fans of Captain Underpants! Class 3G gets a new class pet from Fangbone's barbarian home world - an unhatched egg of the legendary White-titan Razor-dragon! But the evil Venomous Drool is also after the egg, and Fangbone must turn to his classmates to help protect it from dangerous enemy attacks. With Eastwood Elementary's science-themed pageant fast approaching, can the third-graders come up with the perfect class project and take care of the egg until it hatches? From the Trade Paperback edition.
Helicopter Parents, Special Snowflakes, and Other Bullshit
Author: Clinical Coordinator Palliative Care Jane Morris,Jane Morris
Teacher Misery perfectly encapsulates the comical misery that has become the teaching profession. Morris' strange, funny, and sometimes unbelievable teaching experiences are told through a collection of short stories, essays and artifacts including real emails from parents, students and administrators. From the parents who blame their son's act of arson on the teacher for causing him low self-esteem, to the student who offers to teach the teacher how to sell drugs so she can pay her bills, to the administrator whose best advice is to "treat kids like sacks of shit," one story is more shocking than the next. An important read for teachers and non-teachers alike-- Teacher Misery paints an amusing and thoroughly entertaining picture of what has become of our education system, without detracting from the overall point that what teachers have to put up with today is complete, utter, unacceptable insanity.
How can one believe in a God of love amid all the evil and suffering found in the world? How does one do theology 'after Auschwitz', while vast numbers of people still have to endure violent oppression every day? This book seeks to address such questions from a standpoint informed by life in Africa, which in the face of extraordinary difficulties bears witness to Gospel hope by demonstrating forgiveness in action and promoting reconciliation. The work unfolds in two parts. In the first part, a description of the misery that characterises much of life in Africa in the recent past opens up to a theological consideration of the underlying causes and of God's response to them. In the second part, the joy which is so characteristic of life in Africa even in places of immense suffering sets the scene for detailed reflections on liturgy, memory, forgiveness and hope.
In a kind of social tour of sympathy, Candace Clark reveals that the emotional experience we call sympathy has a history, logic, and life of its own. Although sympathy may seem to be a natural, reflexive reaction, people are not born knowing when, for whom, and in what circumstances sympathy is appropriate. Rather, they learn elaborate, highly specific rules—different rules for men than for women—that guide when to feel or display sympathy, when to claim it, and how to accept it. Using extensive interviews, cultural artifacts, and "intensive eavesdropping" in public places, such as hospitals and funeral parlors, as well as analyzing charity appeals, blues lyrics, greeting cards, novels, and media reports, Clark shows that we learn culturally prescribed rules that govern our expression of sympathy. "Clark's . . . research methods [are] inventive and her glimpses of U.S. life revealing. . . . And you have to love a social scientist so respectful of Miss Manners."—Clifford Orwin, Toronto Globe and Mail "Clark offers a thought-provoking and quite interesting etiquette of sympathy according to which we ought to act in order to preserve the sympathy credits we can call on in time of need."—Virginia Quarterly Review
You have endless choices...but few real options. Hungover and stuck at a job you hate, will you show up for your big presentation, or duck out with Debby, the HR rep with an FDR fetish? Play the weird lump on your back for office-wide sympathy, or dive into an internet spiral that can only end in “ten kinds of cancer”? Tell someone about the weird genital-fondling that’s happening at the crystal healer’s, or just accept that this is the best substitute you’ll find for love, today...or maybe ever? From two comedy writers and former contributors to THE ONION comes a parody of a choose-your-own-adventure tale―the story of your soul-crushing existence. Having choices is great when you’re a kid, but in the adult world, the only options are endless varieties of misery. It’s okay, though. A life of adventure would require so many uncomfortable sleeping situations. Besides, you have dental. Keep reminding yourself about the dental. “Hell, the only reason for going to work is to goof-off reading Jilly Gagnon's and Mike MacDonald's book, Choose Your Own Misery: The Office!”—E. Jean Carroll, former writer for SNL “Choose Your Own Misery: The Office [is] the most addictive, clever, and honestly hilarious decision tree you've ever read.”—Zack Bornstein, segment director at Jimmy Kimmel Live "Sorry, I've been spending every waking hour lost in your maddening madcap narrative labyrinth. I'll try to send a blurb for the book by the deadline!"—Jamie Brew, Associate Editor at Clickhole "It’s time for you to choose your own miserable adventure, just like you do every day of your miserable life, but now in hilarious book form!”—Nate Dern, Head Writer for Funny or Die "Oh, how I laughed at this droll little book. Then, slowly but irreversibly, it filled me up with dread."—Jesse Andrews, author of the NY Times Bestselling ME AND EARL AND THE DYING GIRL “Choose Your Own Misery: The Office is a bittersweet, brutal, and frequently hilarious twist on the childhood classics.”—NERDIST.COM “[Choose Your Own Misery: The Office] is one of the few books I’ve made sure to bring with me to show others when going out... even though filled with miserable and sometimes darker choices, [it] is definitely one of the funniest books I’ve read lately.”—TECHAERIS “In their rip-roaringly funny book, Choose Your Own Misery: The Office, the two Onion alums make a dark and decidedly adult play on beloved childhood "choose your own adventure" novels...[Choose Your Own Misery] may be the funniest book released this year.”—NEWSWEEK This book is a parody. It was not authorized by Chooseco, the publisher of Choose Your Own Adventure. Choose Your Own Adventure is a registered trademark of Chooseco LLC.