Bollocks to Alton Towers

Uncommonly British Days Out

Author: Alex Morris,Jason Hazeley,Joel Morris,Robin Halstead

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0141905999

Category: Humor

Page: 416

View: 1305

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The British Lawnmower Museum, Keith Harding's World of Mechanical Music and Mad Jack's Sugar Loaf. In a world of theme parks, interactive exhibits, over-priced merchandise and queues, don't worry, these are names to stir the soul. Reassuring evidence that there's still somewhere to turn in search of the small, fascinating, unique and, dammit, British. In a stumbling journey across the country in search of the best we have to offer our intrepid heroes discovered dinosaurs in South London, a cold war castle in Essex, grown men pretending to be warships in Scarborough, unexplained tunnels under Liverpool and a terraced house in Bedford being kept warm for Jesus's return. And along the way they met the people behind them all: enthusiasts, eccentrics and, you know, those who just sort of fell into looking after a vast collection of gnomes ... Makes you proud!

Bollocks to Alton Towers

Uncommonly British Days Out

Author: Robin Halstead,Jason Hazeley,Alex Morris,Joel Morris

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0141021209

Category: Humor

Page: 388

View: 9169

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From the writers of 'The Framley Examiner', a guide to great days out in Britain. It covers a collection of unusual places of interest that somehow encapsulate everything that's great about Britain. Originally published: London: Michael Joseph, 2005.

Bollocks to Alton Towers

50 Uncommonly British Days Out

Author: Jason Hazeley,Robin Halstead

Publisher: Michael Joseph

ISBN: 9780718147914

Category: Great Britain

Page: 238

View: 4238

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From the writers of The Framley Examiner and The Framley Museum, a guide to great days out in Britain. It will cover 50 unusual places of interest that somehow encapsulate everything that's great about Britain. This book will guide you to places that might sound dreadful, dull, cheap or grim but are actually worth a trip because they are so unique. From Portreath Bee Centre to Kelvedon Secret Nuclear Bunker to The British Lawnmower Museum, it celebrates the small and unusual rather than whatever new vomit-inducing rollercoaster Chessington is pushing this year. Bollocks to Alton Towers.

More Bollocks to Alton Towers

Author: Alex Morris,Jason Hazeley,Joel Morris,Robin Halstead

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 0141918772

Category: Travel

Page: 464

View: 4128

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Leave the hordes behind, pack some sandwiches and head off for a grand day out. Whether it's the National Fruit Collection or the pub where time stood still, Britain is stuffed full of surprising and idiosyncratic local attractions. The authors of Bollocks to Alton Towers, the bestselling celebration of the plucky underdogs of tourism, have ventured even farther off the beaten track and into the corners that corporate branding forgot, to bring you more unique, glorious and uncomonly British days out. Here you'll discover: The garden centre with a replica of Del Boy's living room The joys of a Melton Mowbray pork pie pilgramage The rude charms of the Boscastle Witchcraft Museum The Clowns' Gallery that paints a smile on Hackney's face This book is a reminder of all the odd things that make the British what we are. A hidden, eccentric and joyous world of teas, fans, trains, shoes and puppets is waiting for you out there - far from the sodding crowd.

Far from the Sodding Crowd

More Uncommonly British Days Out

Author: Jason Hazeley,Robin Halstead

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780718149666

Category: Great Britain

Page: 255

View: 9423

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Britons work longer hours than almost any other nation in Europe. But how do we spend our precious days off? Slouching in vast herds beneath the neon canopy of some indistinguishable out-of-town shopping centre? Peering up aisles of self assembly wardrobes? What the hell are we doing with our leisure time?

Crap Days Out

Author: Gareth Rubin,Jon Parker

Publisher: John Blake Publishing

ISBN: 1843588579

Category: Humor

Page: 300

View: 8604

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From Land's End to John O'Groats, this Sceptred Isle is riddled with what are laughably referred to as 'attractions'. Rubbish tourism is a proud British tradition, and from Stonehenge to Madam Tussaud's, Shakespeare's birthplace to the Harry Potter Tour, and model villages to a museum dedicated to pencils, Crap Days Out is the quintessential collection of places that will ruin a perfectly good bank holiday.The quintessential guide to why you should have just stayed at home and watched the telly.

Wacky Nation

50 Unbelievable Days Out at Britain's Craziest Contests

Author: James Bamber,Sally Raynes

Publisher: Icon Books Limited

ISBN: 9781848310629

Category: Contests

Page: 400

View: 9121

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From Worm Charming to Bog Snorkelling, Nettle Eating to Shin Kicking, there's a great British tradition of holding very strange contests in which getting filthy, feeling sick, risking life and limb and above all, looking ridiculous are not mere side-effects, but positively celebrated. Welcome to the Wacky Nation. James Bamber and Sally Raynes, creators of wackynation.com, present 50 of the oddest contests, races and traditions you'd never imagined existed. Think you've got what it takes to become the World Coal Carrying Champion, or maybe the Greatest Liar? Perhaps your forte lies in Gurning? Look no further. With ratings for Spectator Fun, Pain Factor and Wackiness, there's a strong get involved if you dare streak, backed up by the intrepid authors' own experiences (with the scars to prove it) and tips from winners. Each entry will astound and amuse, enticing you to become a world champion or simply a laughing stock. With Wacky Nation, you've no excuse for a dull weekend ever again.

Pies and Prejudice

In search of the North

Author: Stuart Maconie

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 0091930308

Category: Travel

Page: 368

View: 9636

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A Northerner in exile, Stuart Maconie goes on a journey in search of the North, attempting to discover where the clichés end and the truth begins. He travels from Wigan Pier to Blackpool Tower and Newcastle's Bigg Market to the Lake District to find his own Northern Soul, encountering along the way an exotic cast of chippy Scousers, pie-eating woollybacks, topless Geordies, mad-for-it Mancs, Yorkshire nationalists and brothers in southern exile. The bestselling Pies and Prejudice is a hugely enjoyable journey around the north of England.

Historic Framley

Author: Alex Morris,Robin Halstead

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9780141015286

Category: English newspapers

Page: 128

View: 8117

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Featuring spoof newspaper stories from the archives, very silly archaeology and deluded local characters from history, this title uses material from the newspaper archives of The Framley Examiner - a previous text - to take an irreverent trip down memory lane.

The Framley Examiner

Author: Framley Examiner Editors,MICHAEL JOSEPH

Publisher: Michael Joseph

ISBN: 9780718145798

Category: English newspapers

Page: 112

View: 2363

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When the outraged headline cries Cycle Lane Not Even as Long as Small Cycle you know something's not quite right. Welcome to Framley. Like a whimsical, silly step-child of the League of Gentlemen and TV Come Home this brilliant spoof of a local newspaper quickly became a favourite when it appeared online last year. The book of the website of the newspaper, this is set to be a classic.

Danny Wallace and the Centre of the Universe

Author: Danny Wallace

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 1407062204

Category: Education

Page: 128

View: 2408

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Danny Wallace wanted to write about a place so special and so crucial to our existence that it had never before been tackled: the Centre of the Universe. But then he realised that getting there might be a problem, and when he did, there'd probably be nothing much to write about. Until he heard about a manhole cover, on a small street, in a small town, tucked away in a remote part of Idaho. The manhole cover had been declared the Centre of the Universe. The mayor had the science to back it up. The town rejoiced. And the name of the town? Wallace. It was a cosmic coincidence Danny couldn't resist...

The Saffron Trail

Discover Marrakech in this perfect escapist read

Author: Rosanna Ley

Publisher: Quercus Publishing

ISBN: 1787471721

Category: Fiction

Page: 400

View: 1512

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An exotic tale of lost family secrets from the #1 Kindle Bestseller 'The perfect holiday companion' - Heat 'The ultimate feel-good read' - Candis 'Sun-soaked escapism' - Best ********** After the death of her beloved mother, Nell travels from rural Cornwall to the colour and chaos of Marrakech. Her marriage may be on the rocks, but exploring the heady delights of Moroccan cuisine could help her fulfil her dream of opening her own restaurant. It's there she meets Amy - a young photographer trying to unravel the story behind her family's involvement in the Vietnam War. The two women develop a close friendship and discover a surprising connection between their own pasts. This connection will take Nell and Amy on a journey to find their own 'saffron trail' - from the labyrinthine medina and bustle of Moroccan bazaars all the way back home to Cornwall and to the heart of their families' origins. ******** SEE WHAT EVERYONE IS SAYING ABOUT ROSANNA LEY: 'An impeccably researched and deftly written narrative that kept me hooked until the end' - Kathryn Hughes, bestselling author of The Letter 'Loved it from start to finish. A brilliant holiday read' - Amazon reviewer 'Perfect for fans of Santa Montefiore, Victoria Hislop and Leah Fleming' - Candis 'On so many levels a fantastic read' - Amazon reviewer 'A fascinating story with engaging themes' - Dinah Jefferies, bestselling author of The Tea Planter's Wife 'Warm, enthralling, one of my favourite authors' - Amazon reviewer

A Brit Different

Author: Keith Didcock,Emma Wood

Publisher: N.A

ISBN: 9781906889074

Category: Contests

Page: 224

View: 4859

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'A Brit Different' celebrates everything that makes Britain great. From cheese rolling to nettle eating, the most quaint, quirky and downright ridiculous contests are brought to life in this collection of eccentric British events. This guide arms you with all the practical information you will need to watch or participate in these events.

The Politics of Washing

Real Life in Venice

Author: Polly Coles

Publisher: Robert Hale

ISBN: 0719809932

Category: Travel

Page: 192

View: 6028

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This is the story of ordinary life in an extraordinary place. The beautiful city of Venice has been a fantasy land for people from around the globe for centuries, but what is it like to live there? To move house by boat, to get a child with a broken leg to hospital or set off for school one morning only to find that the streets have become rivers and the playground is a lake full of sewage? When Polly Coles and her family left England for Venice, they discovered a city caught between modern and ancient life - where the locals still go on an annual pilgrimage to give thanks for the end of the Black Death; where schools are housed in renaissance palaces and your new washing machine can only be delivered on foot. This is a city perilously under siege from tourism, but its people refuse to give it up - indeed, they love it with a passion. The Politics of Washing is a fascinating window into the world of ordinary Venetians and the strange and unique place they call home.

Too Much Information

Or: Can Everyone Just Shut Up for a Moment, Some of Us Are Trying to Think

Author: Dave Gorman

Publisher: Random House

ISBN: 140903321X

Category: Travel

Page: 352

View: 943

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It’s hard to imagine a world where anything you could possibly want to know about – and everything you don’t even know you want to know about – isn't accessible 24-hours a day, seven days a week, with just a few taps of our fingers. But that world once existed. And Dave Gorman remembers it. He remembers when there were only three channels on TV. He remembers when mobile phones were the preserve of arrogant estate agents and yuppie twonks. And he remembers when you had to unplug your phone to plug the computer into the landline in order to use the (crippling slow) internet. Nowadays of course, the world is full of people trying to tell us things. So much so that we have taught our brains not to pay much attention. After all, click the mouse, tap the screen, flick the channel and it's on to the next thing. But Dave Gorman thinks it's time to have a closer look, to find out how much nonsense we tacitly accept. Suspicious adverts, baffling newspaper headlines, fake twitter, endless cat videos, insane TV shows where the presenters ask the same questions over and over. Can we even hear ourselves think over the rising din? Or is there just too much information?

LOVE, SUN, AND LIZARD POOP

Finding love while building a house in American paradise

Author: Gwendolyn Stevens

Publisher: Xlibris Corporation

ISBN: 1493153919

Category: Humor

Page: 275

View: 4160

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By 2009 I’d been a widow for three years. Then an old colleague invited me down to the Virgin Islands. But how could I even think about a new life when my husband was dead. Queen Victoria mourned forever. Still, I went. Water Island was lovely: blue sky, cream-puff clouds, palm fronds, trade winds, turquoise water, and white sand beaches. It was scary, exploring a new love, but without love what’s the point of life? We decided to build a house. And no one builds a house in the West Indies if she knows what she is doing.

The Ladybird Book of the Hipster

Author: Joel Morris,Jason Hazeley

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 1405925760

Category: Humor

Page: 56

View: 1015

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The Ladybird book of the Hipster is your guide to the terminally cool. _________________________________________________ This is a hipster. He is childless, unaccountably wealthy, and always well turned out. He likes art, porridge,s carves, and anything reclaimed from French factories . . . _________________________________________________ Hipsters like to collect old things that are unfashionable, because that makes them fashionable. Vintage washing-up bowls are highly prized, because they look neither retro nor valuable, and therefore both. _________________________________________________ This delightful book is part of a Ladybird series specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. Also available: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster

The Ladybird Book of the Shed

The perfect gift for Father's Day

Author: Jason Hazeley,Joel Morris

Publisher: Penguin UK

ISBN: 1405925752

Category: Humor

Page: 56

View: 4186

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THE PERFECT GIFT for those Dads who spend a little too much time in the shed. _________________________________ Using your shed as an office is called shedworking. Bunny works from his shed. He is a freelance cow-whisperer. At least, that's what he tells his wife. Bunny is unemployed. __________________________________ 'Michael and Gwen are looking for the placemats Gwen's mother bought them for Christmas. 'Quick,' says Gwen. 'She will be here in twenty minutes!' 'I bet we hid them in here,' says Michael, closing himself inside the quiet shed. Michael says he will not give up looking for the mats in the shed, even if it takes him all day.' __________________________________ This delightful book is the latest in the series of Ladybird books which have been specially planned to help grown-ups with the world about them. The large clear script, the careful choice of words, the frequent repetition and the thoughtful matching of text with pictures all enable grown-ups to think they have taught themselves to cope. Featuring original Ladybird artwork alongside brilliantly funny, brand new text. 'Hilarious' Stylist Other new titles for Autumn 2017: How it Works: The Brother How it Works: The Sister The Ladybird Book of the Ex The Ladybird Book of the Nerd The Ladybird Book of the New You The Ladybird Book of Balls The Ladybird Book of the Big Night Out The Ladybird Book of the Quiet Night In People at Work: The Rock Star Previous titles in the Ladybirds for Grown Ups series: How it Works: The Husband How it Works: The Wife How it Works: The Mum How it Works: The Dad The Ladybird Book of the Mid-Life Crisis The Ladybird Book of the Hangover The Ladybird Book of Mindfulness The Ladybird Book of the Shed The Ladybird Book of Dating The Ladybird Book of the Hipster How it Works: The Student How it Works: The Cat How it Works: The Dog How it Works: The Grandparent The Ladybird Book of Red Tape The Ladybird Book of the People Next Door The Ladybird Book of the Sickie The Ladybird Book of the Zombie Apocalypse The Ladybird Book of the Do-Gooder

Tractor Mac Builds a Barn

Author: Billy Steers

Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux (BYR)

ISBN: 1466894601

Category: Juvenile Fiction

Page: 32

View: 431

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Tractor Mac is used to driving across the fields-after all, what good are wheels if you can't use them? So he's disappointed when Farmer Bill parks him to run a saw mill and he sees that all of the other animals and machines around him are very busy with their chores on the farm. But when Farmer Bill finally unhooks him from the sawmill, Tractor Mac turns to see what work he has done-and he finds out that he helped raise a whole barn!